you cant walk all over me.

3 days... hardest part is almost done! cravings are going away and the crankiness too.



I don't know.
I think I gave out too easily.

insanity?

I never passed a month in a relationship, nor i am not good at this lubby dubby stuff... I don't know what to do after 2 months passes by. I am glad i made it this far, I am glad that I am still keeping strong. Is it worth it? The pain, The misery, and the irritation of one another, just for a few moments of happiness? I think it is, the more you keep up with someone, even if they irritate you in the end there will be more happiness that you can bare.

but for now i think i am going crazy-_-


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Fambam, is a piece of disfunctional. Parents? what parents? I miss you gran=pa hope you are doing well up there. we are stuck in a hole where the hole just keeps on getting bigger, I tried to find a rope, but i ended up with a shovel.

closure.

I do things without thinking it out. I just do what my instincts tell me what I think it's right. Sorry, I guess I didn't see it in anyone else's point of view except mine. It wasn't my business and I wont interfere ever again.

Life is getting harder for me but you know what? I'm not going to quit, you can if you like, but i will not definitely wont.

Life is putting itself into pieces

Pieces of the puzzle is just cruising by, making life more understandable by the minute. In second period today in Mrs. Sandavol's class she was talking about relationships! I was just going to go to sleep and didn't have any intentions to listen. But then i was just like heck, ill sleep in five minutes. WOW that heffar actually knows what she was talking bout, or she was convincing enough! The whole class was all in to it, surprinsingly! What is love she says? Her eyes grew big by how many hands she saw rose up. Love is Romantic, frustrating, time consuming, stupid, heart aches, headaches, intimacy, trust, faith, hope, a rollercoster ride, surprising, funny,commitment, and happiness(there was more but i forgot HAHA). She told us that you guys may think its all these but its not.( I personally thought that all these, even if its heartaches and trust it all leads to your happiness.) boy was i wrong! Love is all about commitment. Without commitment you have bullshit. My eyes opened as i heard more, I look at tiffany and say hey my relationship right now is pretty good! Better then everyone elses! We barely fight, i never yell at her, were not clingy, I try to listen to what she has to say, and I will never hurt her intentionally. I dont know why but I think i am finally commited to someone that i really really care about, when times were going hard for us both, i did not give up. Sure i was scared, but i did not think about giving up unless if it was for your HAPPINESS.
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There is another type of love, it is called Toxic Love. Toxic love is bad bad bad bad! Jelousy, violence, manipulation, and power control. People shouldnt ever control the person they love. They have no rights to tell them what to do or what to wear. Jealousy, calling them every 2 seconds will make them likely more to cheat. manipulation will only work for a while then it will disappoint you. all these leads to violence, maybe emotions or physically.

ps. sorry i just woke up! haha =D

I always fail tests

Yeahh.. maybe your right? love in first sight wtheck is that? nothing hard ever came between us.. wondering thinking will it affect us? Will i give up or will i take the pain and keep on going? Soon, soon i Will know if i really do love you and never leave you. Summer is comming and college is on its way. Try hard to stick to the person you care about. This is the test I've been waiting for.


maybe i like you more then you like me. i ono thats how i just feel

pin point

"I may not get to see you as often as I like. I may not get to hold you in my arms all through the night. But deep in my heart I truly know, you're the one that I love, and I can't let you go."

What in tarnations is this?
If you love something so much, sooner or later they will turn around and disappoint you! My world is spinning in circles... Making me petrified in moving forward. Will the pain and misery be all worth it? Will the work on moving ahead in the mere future be all worth it? I ask myself this once in a blue while.


I know you are scared.. scared to love.. scared to be love... and scared to get thrown away. I've been living my life on the edge of the seats when im with you. I do not know when this happiness will be taken over by pain, but its all worth it for the memories. Your scared that when you finally say you love someone, they will leave because they finally got the word they are looking for. You're scared that your gonna give it your best and they will not want it and just leave you in the cold. I got that aura from u for quite some time now. I told you, even if its as a friend, bestfriend, boyfriend, or aqaintince ill still be glad your in my life.

now you know

friends are friends. if your a real friend, you'll always be there for them no matter what.... sure, first think and then think about the consequences that will happen. We all are here for each other and im glad, but some of us dont deserve this kinda of shit thats been with me for years. Nick, I am really sorry for what I showed you and what always happen when your with me. You know the procedures, you already know everything. To you I'm predictable, and for that I am sorry. You say its your own will, but it is also my own will to stop you. I am very fawking sorry.
I am what I am, I cant change anything about me unless its for me. E=mc2, thanks but if anything happens to u, i would just act without thinking. that's how much i care. I know you say nothing will happen to you but, if anything does, I will act with out thinking.

no guns
no firecrackers =D
no freaking weapons
except the guns in my arm HAHAHHAHAH =D man im kewl

little bit do matter

Were guys... c'mon do you know how we think? If a guy likes a beautiful women, he will start to think a lot.... Little things you do or little actions you do, that you don't think matters, matters to us. We over react or become paranoid to the things you guys do. If we do something dumb that you guys wont even care about, we think about it for days.( oh gosh why'd i do that! Im so retarded she might think im wierd now...) thats our instincts.. soo yeuppppppppppppp

karmassabetch

Pain.PAin.PAIN. GO AWAY. my butt hole feels like its in hell. karma came around the corner, but too bad it didn't get all of me.



remember the days where it was all gewd? It's starting again... Adrenaline pumping, side jumping exertion that will fill the hole i needed to fill up. Praise me world, adore me world, Look up to me world.
--two rats was drowning in milk. 1st rat gave up and drowned, while the second rat kept paddling and turned the milk in to butter and crawled out. I'm that second rat mo'fckas

Buffalo Wings

Oozing pain from my Butt Hole... It was fun today!


--

I'm losing it. Trying to ease everything with what I can. Lost in the laughs of others and the joy of the surroundings. Trying to stay calm and eazy, trying my hardest not to go insane. Please, Help Me From This Hell Hole, and raise me up in the sky to be perfect. I can't, I can't, Because it will bring me pain and misery. Never know whats my limit I choose to move on.

OH BABY YOU~ YOU GOT WHAT I NEED!

I imagined so many places where I can be. I imagined the places where things can go impossibly wrong. I imagined my places to be perfect. Thinking My Life isn't real, Thinking I am lucky I have what I have right now. It would be great if i have the things i wanted. BUT someday, maybe someday if i work hard, I will get to the place, where so many people put me down, possible.
believe.
work hard.
and be the best.

inspiration.

If there's a upside of a relationship, of course there will be and downside of a relationship. You make me worry about the little things that I won't have to worry about when I'm alone. You make me think so much that sometimes I forget I'm young, I should be living my life instead of yours. Both of us are consistently changing and were learning more and more about each other everyday. You make me see what you see in your point of view, how life is really difficult and how you can't always get what you want. I understand why you would think that way, but I am here trying to help you. To make your life so much easier. If you want to be independent then why are you in a relationship? All the promises I gave you I'm still working on it, progressing everyday to achieve those promises. I accepted everything about you, not caring how you look, just caring on how your personality is. Trying not to be shallow, and actually caring what the person is. I Lubbba dubba you.

Realize.

#1.Life.....? If you ask 50 people if their life is great, what answer would you think you would get? Life is really great, it's spontaneous, daring, challenging, and most of all stressful. People who says their life is boring, are just cowards because most of them wont even be spontaneous or try new things. What i think about life is for me to experience new things and which ones would make me happy. So be spontaneous and dont be afraid to try out new things!

#2. Am I really happy? Am I really? or is it just giving me more stress instead of not worrying bout anything at all? I never cared for anything this much. maybe, just maybe I'm just growing older. Change is not all that bad.